had a very parent-esque moment today. i left for errands but forgot something and came back to find my dog on my chair snooping around for food on my desk. MAN…it’s like catching my daughter with a boy in her closet (haha) ….you think she’s so perfect, but wahhhhh she’s nottttt (she’ssss evilllllll and conniving). my dog is such a FAT ASSSSSSSS =/ a freaking...
dear cobbler...or fashion world
i am searching for a boot with a 1/2 (or 1) inch heel, 25 inch shaft, and 14 (or 15) inch circumference. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh none of the boots on sale come close to something that perfect…haha
i’ve started packing! well actually i’m done…all i have left are the dirty clothes to be washed from now on i will be wearing my rejected clothing…haha here is a list of things i’m going to bring that tpe definitely sucks at having 1. sour belt candy 2. aussie shampoo 3. …yea can’t think of anything else any suggestions?
my dad obsessively measures his blood pressure. these machines have evolved to be pretty intense. there is enough memory storage for 2 people (A and B) and you can document whether it was a reading in the day (sun) or night (moon).
dad: 150/90 aw man
me: that's really high
dad: should i start taking medicine?
me: yes - whynot
dad: iono, i thought i was better off than everyone else and didn't need medicine
me: why don't you take it and tell everyone that you don't have to
dad: no, it's not the same. plus, mom will know i'm lying
lol this is coming from my two parents that measure and compare each other's blood glucose levels for kicks. but in the end, i win - ate a WHOLE PAPAYA and my reading was only 110. muahaha
“hey, come here i sucked up too many tapioca balls” *spits extra into your mouth* - mortified mom makes this weird spittle sound i look at her (don’t say anything) “what, garlic is biodegradable, i have never littered in my entire life” - my mother is such a model citizen i don’t know if i’m more upset that my dog ate my taro bolo bun, creme brulee...
i’ve had my fair share of online shopping and two shoe websites i REALLY like are endless.com and shoebacca.com haha that is all. and the best towels i’ve ever used are MARTHA STEWART…who would’ve thunk
GS cookie season!!!!
it’s weird how every year i get really excited about buying girl scout cookies - but i never end up buying them because they’re so expensive now. i mean, when i was a girl scout (lol), each box was a whopping $3. but you know, i never did the go door to door deal, i did the pawn off my sheets to mumsie and dad to pass around work. dyk (did you know) that cookies are named by area...
damn today i just threw the biggest fit for no reason at all. i mean i felt like i was 7 years old again…kicking my feet, punching my pillow, and throwing food. f- lately i’ve been really itchy, my dad asked me if i was stressed out. i’m really not, but i can’t stop scratching - i think i have permanent fingernail trails on the front of my thighs and my lower back. ...
i tried Crave cupcakes and personally i thought they were pretty good. i guess you can gauge that comment by comparing yourself to my other cupcake personal preferences. Babycakes in San Diego: good Teacake in Emeryville: average…cookies are better Love at First Bite in Berkeley Northside: alright-ish, rugelach is pretty good Magnolia’s in Chelsea, NY: not good, really good banana...
atx has destroyed my sleeping sched
ever since i’ve driven back from california i feel like i’ve been initiated into some trucker gang. 2.5 to austin…like whatevs my two new favorite candies : ): swirl bears and rips did you know that…biting down while brushing allows you to more efficiently reach your back teeth. after my dentist told me that…i realized that i already did that. good thing...
my mom filled my FAVORITE cup with chicken stock - and then my dumb ass drank from it thinking it was special pineapple juice (because she covered it with saran wrap). who would put something undrinkable in a very drinkable cup?!?!?!?!? every dream i’ve had now i’ve been kidnapped. lol
lol i like it when people get really drunk and say “why me”….whyyyyy youuuuuuu???? hahaha so i went to the courthouse yesterday to get tejas plates. every time i walk in there i feel like everyone is either really ghetto or sordid looking. i’m not trying to sound bougie, but is there really no such thing as a courthouse filled with middle class people? i understand that...
i hope this shows up…i think i didn’t stop laughing the entire episode. hahahahah man was i delirious or what
what day of the week is it...
so in middle school we were required to take a class called AAS…or something like that. it taught you how to study better…and we took those tests to see if we were more left or right brained…etc etc. well my memory is scaring me because i can’t remember for the life of me what the class was called or even what AAS stands for. one google search later - american...
i just realized that i have finished…almost a whole carton of orange juice. a glass before dinner, a glass during dinner, and glass after. i think i could go for the goal of complete diabetum with a glass before sleep. haha woo calcium i cooked my parents dinner (be proud N) : )….for once i was not asked to wash dishes. i could get used to this arrangement. i learned this...
would you rather
have 5 pimples popped on your upperlip or a tattoo on the front of your neck or…in between your toes hahaha ewwwww it’s weird how my parents haven’t really said anything about the back of my phone missing. ah yes, i think i’ve broken them in for this aspect of my life - now onto the other hundred things that would make them faint.